Why the Roman Catholic Church is Bullshit

I was brought up a Roman Catholic in an Irish family in New York. That explains my neurotic behavior, off again/on again binge drinking, and spectacular ranting at times doesn't it? I was forced to go to church every Sunday and I sat there loathing every minute of it until about the time I reached the age of 10. I then realized that no matter how much I bitched, moaned, and complained I would still be dragged there by my mother and, during Christmas and Easter, my grandparents. Who, by the way, are practically ordained they are so religious. I would be the good little boy going to CCD, as it was called in my church; you would know it as Sunday school perhaps. I would rebel in Sunday School during the prayer circle, when we all had to bow our heads in prayer and say outloud what it was we were praying for when we our turn came, by praying the "Giants would win today because I have 30 dollars riding on Dave Brown's arm." I also ate the nasty tasting communion, sat through the agonizing 45 minute mass and the ensuing traffic jam to get out of church afterwards, and I even went to all the church parties with my friends, who's parents also forced them into going. My house was not Sparta, it was an authoritarian dictatorship that neither allowed me to think for myself, in terms of religion, nor let me wear baggy pants; and told me to be afraid of God. Shit my Mom and raging Italian stepfather scared me so much I thought I could take God one on one in a dark alley. Bring it on!

Then I turned 16. Shortly thereafter I stopped going to church. I decided smoking pot once in a while was a better way to clear my head than going to church. I no longer felt bad for committing "sins" or for using the Lord's name in vein. I drank, cursed, cut school, got high, screwed around, snuck out of my house at 2am on school nights...All the things a 16 year old does if he stops fearing he will go to hell for pissing off someone he never met or saw. When i was younger I thought of God as an old Uncle I never met. I heard about him from time to time, saw old pictures/painting of him, but never met him. Therefore I cared less about him. He pissed me off all the time by never being there for me. If I pissed him off he could deal with it like a man. Put 'em up!

About that time all of the church abuse scandals started to become exposed, much like the priests who committed those bastardly acts against all those poor young men. That is when I really started questioning the church as a whole. We are told when we are younger that priests are like agents of God. They deliver his message, the Bible, to the masses. Our view of the Catholic Church is based on our priests' interpretation of the Bible to his parish. Am I not mistaken? These are guys who give up their entire lives for God, because we all know that reading a Bible makes one happier than sex, booze, drugs, video games, the Yankees whipping the hell out of the Red Sox next year, etc...Whatever a particular person's vice is it makes them volumes happier than reading a book that tells you everything that makes a person happy is wrong and you will go to hell for it.

Growing up in an Irish Catholic family we were always told by our grandparents, and to some extent my mother, that we would go to hell for this or that. That we should be "God fearing" and that pissing him off will send lightning bolts out of the sky at us like he is Zeus. Whatever. I thought religion was something to base your morals on, something to make you happy, to give your life meaning and direction in times of despair. Instead, it just kicks you while you are down. I soon got tired of hearing that pride, greed, envy, anger, lust, gluttony, and sloth were wrong.

Pride is a good thing. Pride in one's self is good as long as it does not turn to arrogance. Something I posses great quantities of according to many people. Greed is good too. It motivates people. The entire financial industry is built on a firm backbone of it. If money can't motivate you what else will? Again, greed is good in small doses. Envy, I think, is the least evil of all the 7 Deadly Sins. If you envy someone you aspire to be them and makes you excel in all aspects of your life in trying to be like who you envy. I envy my parents because both of them have been through a shitload of hardships in their lives and they still wake up everyday and do the best they can. If I end up half the man my father is I will be a better man than most, Envy is perhaps the most admirable quality a person can have. It shows that a person has humility if they can say "I envy that guy/girl." Anger is good too. If people did not get angry from time to time they would all go postal or, in the case of Japanese "salarymen," jump in front of a Shinkansen (Bullet Train). I lust after my beautiful girlfriend every minute of every day. If you cannot have lust for your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband then how do you procreate? I am quite gluttonous, which I know is bad...I think I have gotten better. Will have to ask Miho. Sloth is definitely bad. Lazy people deserve nothing, and usually end up with it. Although, I have worked myself like a Mexican doing some shit jobs here in Japan at times and ended up with nothing to show for it either.

I wonder why molestation is not a deadly sin...I guess it is covered under lust.

Here I am, a 16 year old boy, totally confused about religion and then all of a sudden priests are going to jail, and psychologically fucked ex-choir boys are now millionaires. How can I put my trust in an institution that has basically turned into N.A.M.B.L.A? If there really is a hell I hope those priests burn for what they did to all those boys, and their parents, who put their trust in the hands of bastards. Not only that, but the church tried to cover it up!! Holy Shit!! It's one thing to admit there is a problem, deal with it (no matter how painful), and let time heal the wounds. Instead they went the Michael Jackson Route, out of court settlements, coverups, etc.

How dare them?? I will never even read another passage from the Bible again, save for funerals because if someone else believes in God I am not one to knock them for it and I will act at their funeral as they would at mine. Read the Bible, pray for them, etc. Only because it benefits them. I do not care about praying for myself. Not one thing I ever asked God for help for did it work out. I have asked him/her for signs and received nothing. Until I receive something that validates his existence, and utter disgust at the institution he mistakenly trusted to spread the word of his son's sacrifice for mankind, I will not blindly put money, and all of my trust, into a collection plate used to pay off the lawsuits that stem from decades of almost ritualized molestation of choir boys.

The archdiocese of Spokane, Washington has decided to file for bankruptcy by the end of this month. Jerkoffs! Do the right thing damnit! For Christ's sake! You have destroyed these people's lives! Atleast give them a little money to ease their pain! The church itself is guilty of greed (in not paying out lawsuits), lust, and sloth. Who are they to judge me? He must be turning in his grave.

That whole Heaven thing, am I really supposed to believe people live on clouds? What the hell can you do on a cloud for eternity? Take dumps on people like a bird? I'd rather rot deep in the ground. Or that Heaven is perfect? I don't want a perfect life. A life without adversity is not a life at all. Adversity shapes people, it makes men out of boys, and sometimes it makes mothers and fathers. People who don't struggle end up like Paris Hilton. I don't think that needs further explanation.

My family is very religious and this will probably come as quite a shock to them. So be it. I have been mulling it over a lot lately and decided that from here on out I am no longer going to say I am Roman Catholic. I have not ruled out religion, or even Christianity, entirely. But I will be damned if I ever put my faith in an institution that has been involved in more cover-ups than all facets of the US Govt. combined since July 4, 1776.

To quote Confucious: "The believer is happy. The doubter is wise."