Top Ten Differences Between NYC and Tokyo

Living as long as I have in Tokyo, 1 1/2 years, I am able to make an accurate assesment of the many differences between NY and Tokyo. So here, ala Letterman, I have made a Top Ten List.

10. The subways in Tokyo turn off at 12:30am...in NY they are 24/7.

9. Cabbies leave their taxis running while they walk inside convenience stores. In NY that's a free ride across town.

8. Beer vending machines; in Tokyo they are the norm, if they had those in NY someone with a baseball bat would start a block party.

7. Instead of terrorists Tokyo has earthquakes. (There was a 5.7 magnitude earthquake 2 hours ago.)

6. Sex...in Tokyo the age of consent is 13. It is also legal to pay for "sucky sucky" and to get a hooker up the ass...in NY that all gets you a nice vacation on Riker's Island.

5. All the Nigerians here are rich, In NY they are "porchmonkeys" up in Harlem.

4. They still have a baseball team called the Giants.

3. Roberto Petagine, perennial strike out artist on the Mets, now hits 40 homeruns a year for the Yomiuri Giants; while Hideki Matsui, formerly of the Giants, now hits long balls for the Yanks.

2. No ghettos in Tokyo.

1. Vibrating Condoms!!