Black Jews, 9/11, Costco

The Lemba People are a tribe of Jews in Africa. They are black, and they are Jewish. The Jews I know back in NY are afraid of all blacks. They think rap music is the anthem of drug gangs and disenfranchised youth. They lovingly call it "nigger music." This is going to put a real ruffle in their panties once they learn of these Lemba people. They are a lost tribe of Jews that was cast out of Isreal, yet another group of persecuted Jews....who woulda thunk it? Like that's never happened before right?

Miho and I were watching the BBC when we saw a feature story on them. Miho's response was "That must suck, being black and Jewish, gotta be hard." She said so innocently and sincerely. It was one of the funniest things she ever said...ranking up there with "Typhoony." I laughed about it for a while.

The girl DJ in my club that's really hott came outta the bathrrom with half a roll of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her high heels. I was playing darts with a customer and one of the guys who works at the club with me when she came outta the bathroom, which happens to be near the dartboard. All three of us laughed in her face so hard there were tears pouring down our faces. She responded by taking the toilet paper and throwing it at all of us. NASTY! She was pissed.

9/11 was 3 years ago, but we will never forget. Rest in peace my brothers and sisters. Back in 2002 I was at the memorial ceremonies. I will never forget the parade of firefighters going through Times Square, or the reporter who gave me a lift down to the foot of the brooklyn bridge so I could catch the Police parade their way across on the way to Ground Zero. Nor will I forget the German reporter who asked me "Being that this is 9/11 are you afraid to be here on the Brooklyn Bridge or at Ground Zero?" I responded "I am a New Yorker, I am afraid of nothing. I am here to remember the victims of this atrocity. My fallen friends and the others. Are you afraid to be here?" Her, and her crew, told me off camera they were terrified and received this assignment by drawing the short straw in the pool of American based reporters the network had. Morons. NY was safer than any place in the world on 9/11/02. As was Yankee Stadium during the World Series when George W. threw out the first pitch. Despite all the extra security the stadium was half empty, and the Yanks lost. I was just happy to take my dad to the World Series...

Costco rocks! Miho and I took the trek out to Makuhari to go to Costco. It was a good hour and a half long train ride. Once we finally got there we were totally lost. We got on the wrong bus, despite an abundance of signs in English telling us where to go. Then while on the bus Miho realized she left her cell phone on the train. Smooth! I asked the bus driver in Japanese if the bus we were on went to Costco and he laughed, then explained to me that a minibus takes people to Costco. So Miho and I got off the bus at Makuhari Messe/Chiba Marine Stadium Stn. We took a cab from the New Otani Hotel to Costco.

When we got there we had to fill out an application form. The membership was 4,200 yen for one year. We then went shopping. Miho was in heaven. She had never seen anything like it. 28,000 some odd yen later we had more food than we could possibly carry. Enter delivery service.

We had everything delivered to our place for a mere 2,000 yen. Even frozen and refrigerated items were included. Sweet!

We left Costco at 6:40 on a cab bound for Makuhari station. When we got to the station Miho had to fill out a lost item form, which took forever. I had to be at work at 8pm....I was a bit nervous. We got to the platform. TThe next train we thought we had to take would never get me to work on time. Then I noticed a limited express train that would take us to Tokyo Stn in 20 minutes, as opposed to the 46 minutes it took us to get to Makuhari from Tokyo Stn. on our way out there.

When the train arrived on the platform it turned out to be a bullet train. Miho raised some concern that we could not take it cuz we did not have the right tickets. I told her not to worry and just to act natural. We walked on and slumped in the seats pretending we were sleeping so we would not have to deal with the conductor. He, however, was smarter than we anticipated. When I opened my eye to see if he was gone he was standing right there and asked me for my ticket. When I explained to him I had none he charged us a mere 500 yen each. In 20 minutes total we arrived at Tokyo Station. The time was now 7:35. The walk from that bullet train to the Chuo line took a little over 10 minutes and then that took 15 to Shinjuku. I got to work 10 minutes late. But since I was the only one there it did not matter really.

Miho just got home...she bought us both electric toothbrushes. On her ride home she was standing on the train and some old salaryman came up to her and buried his face in her boobs saying "kimuchi" or "that feels good" she whapped him on the head with her books and he walked away laughing. NICE!!!

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