U-Haul can Suck it Hard...It's Not Hard to Make a Friggen Cup of Coffee

U-Haul...herein referred to as "those dumb sons of bitches," has made me want to go on a homicidal rampage. I don't understand what the hell is wrong with them. FOUR weeks ago I made a reservation on the internet for a truck to move the furniture into my apartment. I paid a 5 dollar fee and the truck was guaranteed to me. I call up to confirm the day before....NO FUCKING TRUCK!!! Not even a god damn trailer hitch was left for rental.

So then I make a reservation for the next weekend. I call and make the reservation. Everything is good. It's all good. I go up to Middletown, I call to confirm the day before....the reservation is not in the system. Here's where I became acquainted with "Hector." This fuckin guy has got to be the dumbest taco bending, refried bean loving, Dos Equis pounding, Cuervo loving Mexican on the planet. He has fucked up more times in the last few weeks than I care to remember.

So I then make a reservation for last weekend with him...this is the second time Hector has made my reservation. I call the day before to confirm....what do you know?? Anyone care to venture a guess as to if a truck was there for me or not??? I hate those dumb sons of bitches. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!! God damnit I hate them! So I am calm and cool with Hector.

I make a reservation for Yesterday, February 13th, at 9am. I even call to confirm it later that day. Confirmed. I call Sunday to confirm, all systems go. I call Monday to confirm, 10-4 good buddy. I call Tuesday to confirm, roger that. I call Wednesday to confirm, good to go. I call Thursday to confirm, Hector now knows my voice and looks up and confirms my reservation without me even asking him to. Friday, the same thing. So now it is 6pm Saturday night...

I call to confirm yet again...Hector, that fava bean loving bastard, says "Senior, is not in the computer." I say "Why? I called everyday this week to confirm it. There best be a truck for me or I will napalm the entire lot your store is on." He says "Sorry, no reservation, no truck." I flip out..."What the fuck amigo?? I called you every single day this week to confirm my reservation. I have made a reservation with you every weekend for the past month, and without fail you have somehow managed to fuck it up. You are a god damn waste. What is your problem? I'll tell you what you can do. You can cancel someone else's reservation and give me their truck. If it can be done to me 4 times it can be done to someone else once. I think it's fair. I have been without furniture in my apartment for over a month cuz of your stupid ass. MANIFEST ME A FUCKING TRUCK!!!!!" He says back to me (in spanish) "Stop cursing. I will not talk to you if you curse at me. How dare you..." I cut him off "First, speak English. Second, if you weren't such a fuck up maybe, just maybe, I would not be soo pissed off bro!" He is now flipping mad at me and ranting like the stark raving lunatic I had turned into because of his inexcuseable utter ineptness at carrying out the simple duties of his answer the phone, enter the data into a pc equal opportunity amendment created job. I informed him I would be speaking to his district manager before his store closed and he turned into Mr. Nice Guy...

So he said "call back iin an hour, I have a truck due back at 630pm and two are due overnight." I call back, no answer. I called 6 times...nothing. So now I have my father up my ass about this and I sick of listening to him treat me like shit so I tell him I have an incoming call and I have to go. So I wake up bright and early Sunday morning at 7;30. I pick my boy Kris up and we go back to my mom's place. I call U-Haul the second it opens...no trucks ever came back. The guy on the other end of the line was named Tim. I explained my situation to him and how his co-worker Hector was about as useful as a cell phone with a dead battery. He agreed with me and took my number saying he would call me as soon as the first truck came in...all three were late.

My father, I swear I wanted to hit him, declared at 9:30...a half hour late...that he refused to do it now. He then yelled that I never even made the reservation and I was lying to him the whole time and he hung up on me. That was the last straw. I screamed "FUCK YOU!!!!!!!" at the phone and kicked something on my mom's back patio. She immediately told me to "go to hell, get outta her house, and never fucking come back." I was so mad I was shaking. The only other time I got that mad Miho was so scared she ran away from me. I was so mad I was paralyzed by anger. If someone would have so much as looked at me wrong I probably would have put them in the hospital. Even kris was a bit freaked out. I stood in my mom's driveway waiting for him in the bitter cold and smoked a whole ciggarette in two pulls. Now my whole day was destroyed, I had no money cuz my company mailed my check home like ass holes, I had no ride anywhere, and it was like 20 degrees out. I was happy.

I have been at kris's house since. I will go back to JC tomorrow night. I want my furniture!! Those dumb sons of bitches are really pushing me too far. I will make one more reservation with them, if it goes the same route all of the others have gone I am going to sue them for all of the money I have had to spend in train tickets I never would have had to buy had they done it right the first time. It's not the money I care about. It's the principle. FUCK U-HAUL!! Those dumb sons of bitches!!

Coffee...in New York City everyone must drink their coffee with sugar. Every single time I order coffee I say "Large coffee with cream." 50% of the time I get a light and sweet coffee. I hate drinking coffee with sugar. It is disgusting. It doesn't taste right to me. I hate it as much as I hate those dumb sons of bitches. But, I always drink it anyway because there's no point in complaining over a $1 coffee.

I was in Penn Station Saturday waiting for the train home when I decided to eat. I had been out all night and had a raging hangover. The only thing that could save me was a coffee (with cream) and a bacon, egg, and cheese (BEC) sandwich. I order a BEC and then while it is cooking I say to the girl "Large coffee with cream." She says "Cream and sugar?" I say "no sugar." She says "You don't want sugar in your coffee? are you sure?" I say "No, I hate coffee with sugar in it. Please do not put sugar in my coffee." She says "That's how I like it, it tastes good that way. You should try it." I, now obviously annoyed, say "Listen, I am really hungover right now and all I want is a large coffee with cream. If you're feeling lucky put sugar in my coffee. But pray to god that it's not boiling hot and that you can run faster than I can throw it at you. I am obviously not in the mood for this. Just make my coffee. Not everyone likes what you like. I eat sushi 4 days a week, do you eat sushi?" She says "no, it's disgusting. How could you possibly eat that shit?" I say "Give me my coffee with only cream in it. No more discussion, just coffee." She gets mad at me!! OH MY GOD!!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! The lady behind me was astounded. She ordered the same thing "Large coffee with cream." The girl then says to her "you don't want sugar in it?" The lady says "No, do it and wear it. Cream only." Then she turns to me and says "Can you believe this? Unreal..."

Then I get my sandwich....a Sausage Egg and Cheese (SEC). I do not like SEC. So this into a production, then the mexican argues I told him a SEC to the girl...everyone is speaking Spanish. So I yell..."amigo, uno momento. yo quiero bacon egg and cheese....ondjule!!!" So he takes my sandwich where he thinks I can't see it and takes off the sausage and puts on bacon. I guess in Mexico the sausage grease doesn't get on anything that it touches, especially a sandwich. I just keep my mouth shut and eat it. I was too annoyed and too hungover to care.

People wonder why I hate this fucking city. In Japan you always, 100% of the time, get exactly what you order. Even if you and the girl at the counter are speaking two totally different languages. It somehow works. Why is it that a friggen cup of coffee is a big production??

Eat sushi you annoying ghetto hoochie, then I will try coffee with 8 spoons of sugar you probably put into it to make it taste horrible. That is not coffee, it is liquid speed!