Japanese Pizza

After much thought and also much dissappointment I have decided I will no longer eat Japanese pizza. It is inedible. They put things on pizza that just don't belong. I want to meet the people who set the menus for these shitty piza places at these places corporate headquarters and punch them in their squinty little faces because this is inexcusable. Pizza should be illegal in Japan because the Japanese owned places here have no clue how to make it. That being said...for really good pizza in Japan check out Roppongi Pizzakaya. Otherwise don't bother if you see a Japanese person behind the counter.

The next few pizzas are from Pizza-La.


This scrumptious "pizza" is called the New Fisher and has the following toppings: Shrimp. Squid, Adductor (a part of a fish...don't ask me), Ruiyu Sauce (no clue what that is), Fresh Chopped Garlic, Fresh Mushroom, Onion, Green Pepper, Broccoli, and a Mayonnaise pattern across the top

Who the hell puts that combination of toppings on a pizza?? Nobody! It is a pizza only by name. Also, whoever convinced Japanese people that mayonnaise belongs on pizza was a fucking genious. They put mayonnaise on everything here, but for Christ's sake!!! Leave it off the fucking pizza!!!


This "pizza," called the Negi Bey, has the following toppings: Green Onion, Seaweed, Shoulder Bacon, Applewood Smoked Bacon, Fresh Mushroom, Corn, and Black Pepper.

Why is there seaweed on this?? Fucking Hell!! The corn!! Oh my god, there is corn on every pizza. Even if they do not list it on the toppings it is still on it. Even if you order a normal pepperoni pizza that will have fucking corn on it!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

The next couple of "pizzas" are from "Strawberry Cones Pizza." These are by far the worst of all.


This "pizza" is called Shrimp Chili. Surprisingly the toppings consist of: Shrimp, Chili Sauce, and some wierd Japanese cheese that does not belong on pizza.

You ass holes!!! Who does that?? You should be burned at the stake! Shrimp and Chili Sauce?? That is the most normal one out of all of their alleged pizzas. It all goes downhill from here.


The "Manhattan Mix" has: Pepperoni, Squid, Black Olive, Giant Rings of Raw Onion placed on top after it is done baking, Mushroom, and Corn

Now call me crazy, but I grew up in NY. I never, in my 21 years of living there, saw a pizza with this conbination of toppings. No one in NY wil lever put pepperoni, squid, and corn on the same pizza!!! Also, the type of squid on this pizza in no way resembles the quid americans might eat on pizza if they were feeling particularly fishy and were in a brazen mood. Manhattan Mix my ass. The only person in Manhattan that might eat this is a pregnant lady going through her wierd cravings...for dessert she will have anchovies and ice cream.

I saved the absolute worst for last. I took this from a website devoted to how shitty Japanese pizza is. I found it after I started writing this post and I refuse to now take it down cuz I am too lazy to find something else to poke fun at today. Here is the original site it is from.


This so called pizza is appropriately called "Kimchi Bacon." It has the following ingredients: Kimchi (Spicy Korean Cabbage), Bacon, Leeks, and 2 Cheeses.

Kimchi Bacon Pizza?? Fuck you!! I bet this is really popular in Korea, where the majority of the food is so shitty you eat McDonalds cuz it is "Fine Dine Cuisine."

I have also seen pizzas made with Squid Ink and Curry but I cannot find a pic of either worth throwing up here, plus I do not want to rip off the guys who actually have entire sites devoted to this. No, I'm not original. Too bad, I thought I was.

As I was writing about the Kimchi Bacon nightmare John Olerud hit a 2 run homerun. The entire stadium is chanting "Who's Your Daddy??!!" to organ music. Funny shit. This is the first playoff series I haven't received any emails from the family about how the Sox and Pedro will come back and win in the 6th or 7th game. I guess they have resigned themselves to the truth. Anything they write to me will get a three word response. Guess what it will be. The Red Sox, tonight, are John Lieber's bitch. To this point he has thrown 73 pitches, 50 of them strikes. Orlando Cabrera has the only hit and Ortiz a walk. The only two base runners of the day for Boston.

Forget Ansky...Who's Your Daddy?!?! That will never go away. Wuhahahahahahahaha!!!!