8.29.2004

The GarageMahal

The GarageMahal had me in fucking stitches. I don't much like fat people either so this paragraph had me rolling. I even woke Miho up I laughed so hard.

"The other option (what I use to do during the day) is going to work every day and explaining to fat fucks why they still weigh and look like an 18-wheeler....after they just got finished stuffing their face with a supersized Big-MAC...and the only exercise they've had for the last month was chasing around junior cause he just took the last piece of choc cake.

So I said fuck'em all...

Your Blood pressure is SKY rocketing and you drink pickle juice like water....fuck you
Your soo fucking fat you have to turn side ways to get through a doorway..fuck you
Everyone in your family has died of lung cancer and you just finished smoking your 10th pack of smokes for the day...fuck you.
Your gut is so big...your wife can't find the thing... fuck you

F-it I'm selling bikes... better times.." (The GarageMahal)

Creative title for this blog too I might add...

America, the Bushieful

This is funny shit. I found it randomly by hitting the "NEXT BLOG" button on the top thingy. There is a much funnier illustrated version of the song on his website which is linked below.

America, the Bushieful
By Arator http://americathebushieful.blogspot.com/

first verse:

O Bushieful for specious lies,
For endless waves of spin
Obscuring dark conspiracies
To do our country in!
America! America!
Spookdaddy's GOP
Has crowned his son (though Al Gore won)
To steal your liberty!

second verse:

O Bushieful for Spookdom's gapes
As you and me they spy,
Unwarranted, no man escapes
From their "all-seeing" eye!
America! America!
Bush tramples ev'ry law
To wrest thy soul from your control
And maul it in his maw!

third verse:

O Bushieful for heroes killed
In orchestrated strife
To spook us so that we might yield
Our freedom for our "life!"
America! America!
May Asian oil refine,
Secure access by ruthlessness
And ev'ry gain rapine!

fourth verse:

O Bushieful for PNAC's plans
To loose the dogs of war,
Their plans, they said, they could advance
With "a new Pearl Harbor!"
America! America!
Like Hitler's Reichstag fire,
Bush lit the flame, then misplaced blame
For his own funeral pyre!

fifth verse:

O Bushieful for double games
Where nothing's as it seems,
Al Qaeda first served our spooks' aims,
Now they're on diff'rent teams?
America! America!
Don't you recall that when
Your spooks' Afghan plan first began
Their boy was Bin Ladin?

sixth verse:

O Bushieful for terror scares,
Mass mind-warping psy-ops,
"ORANGE ALERT," Tom Ridge declares
When in the polls Bush drops!
America! America!
Have you been played the fool?
Was nine-one-one one great big con
And Bush the conmen's tool?



seventh verse:

O Bushieful for open doors
Illegals just walk through,
For amnesties 'midst terror wars,
Mexican truckers too!
America! America!
If terror threats were real
Don't you think Bush would quickly push
To fix your border's seal?

eighth verse:

O Bushieful for preemptions,
A world dictator's dream,
Not since der Fuhrer's invasions
Have we seen such a scheme!
America! America!
To what do you aspire?
Will you stick by your Republic
Or trade it for Empire?

ninth verse:

O Bushieful for dollar's doom
Since euros now some trade,
If dollar trades they won't resume,
Dubya will just invade!
America! America!
Great worldly wealth you've yearned,
But wealth so grand is built on sand
If stolen and not earned!

tenth verse:

O Bushieful for opium,
The Taliban did stop,
On them Bush heaped opprobrium,
Now there's a bumper crop!
America! America!
Dope draws your spooks like flies,
Without such crops, your dollar drops,
And Spookdom shrinks in size!

eleventh verse:

O Bushieful for "shock and awe"
As bombs lit up the night,
Exploding lives and breaching law,
Pretending might makes right!
America! America!
Bush used Dubya-MD's,
Awesome it's not, but shocked we got,
By his atrocities!

twelfth verse:

O Bushieful for torture camps
Where sadists do their worst,
Blessed by officials' rubber stamps,
They afflict the accursed!
America! America!
Are you now this depraved?
Choose not the way of Mengele
Or soon you'll be enslaved!



thirteenth verse:

O Bushieful for no-bid mercs,
Wolves fleecing us like sheep,
As troops risk death without such perks,
A grand a day they reap!
America! America!
A pirate flag's unfurled,
O'er Washington, where dark deeds done
Now plunder the whole world!

fourteenth verse:

O Bushieful for Kenny Lay
And Enron's campaign loot,
For he and Bush crime sure did pay,
Till it went down the shoot!
America! America!
Cheney's Halliburton
When blood's spilling, makes a killing
From no-bid contracts "won!"

fifteenth verse:

O Bushieful for Wellstone's plane
That tumbled from the sky,
Like Carnahan, he too was slain,
Can't help but wonder why?
America! America!
Does Spookdom stalk this land?
Won't play their games? Go down in flames!
Strike not the hidden hand!

sixteenth verse:

O Bushieful for Bonesmen's Tomb
Where naked Bush once lay,
His soul Satan did there subsume
Preparing for this day!
America! America!
Wrong masquerades as right,
Don't you be gulled or you'll be skulled
And boned without a fight!

seventeenth verse:

O Bushieful for foolish pride,
For blasphemous Bush-speak,
Bush boasts that God is on his side,
But God stands with the meek!
America! America!
A second Christ you're not,
When Bush claims this, it's sheer hubris,
Not what the true Christ taught!

eighteenth verse:

O Bushieful for patriots' dream
Now crumbling into dust,
New alabaster gravestones scream
Of one man's power lust!
America! America!
End mad King George's reign,
Restore your rights, scale freedom's heights,
Be beautiful again!

Conventions Connect Baseball to Politics

Conventions Connect Baseball to Politics, apparently Democrats vs Republicans is the same as Red Sox vs Yankees. With the Yankees representing the richer, more successful Republicans and the Sox representing the scrappy workingman Democrats. John Kerry looks pretty wealthy to me, shit his wife is the heir to the Heinz Ketchup fortune....does that make her a Republican?

"As Jay Leno put it before this year's Democratic National Convention, "You know Boston is a perfect city for Democrats because the Democrats are like the Red Sox: They're optimistic in the spring, concerned in the summer, ready to choke in the fall." (Yahoo! News) Classic...

I am not wealthy, nor am I a Republican...but I flunked out of college to go to opening day at Yankee Stadium back in 2001. I am die-hard yo. Sox can eat my dust. The lead is now 6 games.